The Pirate and the Flower (Second Draft)

Recap of the weekend!  So I went to the gym Saturday morning for the first time in months.  I walked two and a half miles and then did some light weight lifting.  And now I hurt like hell!  But that's okay, because I went to the gym and that's what counts.

The weekend was pretty busy between shopping, the gym and spending some time with the spouse.  I didn't get any writing done.  I know I know!  I should have, but let's face it, sometimes you just don't have that fifteen minutes to sit down and write.  And that's okay.

I was going to go to the gym this afternoon, but my neck was hurting and I was feeling pretty bad, so I decided that I shouldn't go today.  I'll try again tomorrow though!

I was able to get some writing done this afternoon and I feel really good about this one.  I decided to do an exercise in perspective.  I generally write in third person and don't use first person often.  I'm not sure why I choose to do the first post in first person, but it was a good exercise too!  First person is great to get to know your character with and I do like to use it for that.

Since I write in third person mostly, I wanted to rewrite The Pirate and the Flower.  I think this version came out so much better than the first and I'm going to keep writing the story.  It's starting to turn out rather well and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Leave me a comment and tell me which version you like best!

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“I know what it is you desire.”  The woman’s cherry painted lips whispered into the man’s pointed ear.

The elven man chuckled softly and gestured to the chair across from him.  He made no effort to take his black leather boots off the table.  A black leather hat hid most of his face from the woman.  It had a red feather.  Short, jagged and slightly curly red hair peeked out from under the hat and a scar marred his left cheek and disappeared under the shadow of his hat. 

He wore two silver rings on his right hand, one with a sapphire set into it.  There was a black tattoo on the inside of his right wrist.  He wore a sleeveless black vest.  His skin was the deep tan of someone who spent too much time in the sun and not the alabaster white so common with elves.  The rest of his exposed body was covered in numerous scars.  Several slash marks ran down his arms.  There was a deep gash across his stomach and more small scars along the rest of his chest.  Set just over his heart was a blue tattoo of a trident.

“And just what is it,” He smirked, “that you think I want?”

The woman had short, dark hair and deep emerald green eyes.  Her only slightly pointed ears showed her half elven heritage.  She wore a light blue dress that did nothing to hide her vast assets.  On either hip she wore a rapier, one with a hilt shaped into the figure of a white tiger.  The other rapier had a hilt shaped into a wolf.

She settled fluidly in the chair across from the man and leaned over the table, “The only thing any blind man truly wants,” She reached over and plucked the bottle of rum near the man.  She took a sip and leaned back, “to see.”

She startled at his laugh.  He swayed to his feet and his sapphire blue eyes met hers for a moment until he turned away.  She sat tensed as he made a circle around the table.  His boots made a distinctive thud on the floor.  He paused behind her chair.  He leaned over her, brushing a lock of her hair away from her ear.

“My dear Lady, you have no idea what it is that I truly desire.”  He whispered.

The bottle of rum was suddenly gone from her hand.  She blinked and looked up to find the man taking a drink from the bottle.  As he made his way around the table and to his chair, she folded her arms over her chest.

“Then why is it that you are so desperate for this map, Captain Grimhawk?”  She asked.

“So you have heard of me?”

“Who hasn’t heard of the deadly pirate Captain Grimhawk?”

“You would be surprised by how many have not.”

“You know, I never thought I would ever meet you.  Are you really as greedy as they say?”  She said.

He shrugged, “That depends on your definition of greed.  Do I like treasure and things that sparkle?  Of course.  Do I want it all for myself?  Of course.”

“I think the answer would be yes in this case.”  She chuckled.  “There is something that I have always wanted to ask you.”

“And what might that be?”

“How does an elf become a greedy bastard like you?  You’re kind isn’t known for this sort of thing.”  She inched her hand across the table toward the bottle of rum.

He lifted the bottle just before she could take it and took a drink, “I am no ordinary elf.”

“Always a mystery, huh?”

“I do not give out all my secrets after just meeting a lady.  You can at least buy me a drink first.”

She smirked, “But you’ve already got a drink.”

“Ahh, but you see,” He set the empty bottle on the table, “the rum seems to be gone.”

She chuckled and motioned over a waitress, “I guess the rumors about the rum are true too then.”

They sat in silence until a new bottle of rum and two shot glasses were settled on the table.  The waitress blushed and hurried off when Captain Grimhawk flashed a rather charming smile at her.  He chuckled at her retreating back and turned back to the woman in front of him.

“So about this map..?”  He asked as he lifted one of the shot glasses.

“Impatient, aren’t you, pirate?”

“It is why I agreed to meet you here, flower.”

“I want,” She smiled as she refilled his glass, “double the price.”

“And you say I am greedy.”  He chuckled.

“What can I say, I like treasure too and I might just keep this map to myself.”  She leaned closer over the table.

He leaned closer in to her, brushing the bottle of rum and the shot glasses to the side, “I might need something else to accommodate such a hefty price.”

“Just like every man out there, aren’t you?”  She whispered, her lips almost brushing his, “Booze and sex and you’re just happy as a clam, hmm?”

He chuckled softly, “I cannot say that I do not desire you.  What man would not want such a beautiful and delicate little flower?”  His lips brushed hers and then he sat back.

She laughed to hide her moment of frustration, “I am far from delicate, pirate.”

“Is that so?  Are you willing to place a wager on that?”

“A wager on how delicate I am?”  She said in an amused tone.

“You’re obviously a skilled swordswoman, unless you carry those rapiers just for show.”  He smirked.

She blinked and then chuckled, “Are you challenging me to a duel, pirate?”

“I do like a woman who knows how to handle a sword.”

She chuckled again, “You name the place and the time.”

“Outside right now,” He grinned.

“You really do like to get right to things, don’t you?”

“I do want to make sure you show up and now seems like the perfect time, unless you are too afraid to take me.”

She leaned over the table, “I’ll take you any day and I’ll beat you, pirate.”

“Well, then, shall we take our business outside, flower?”  He swayed to his feet, swiping up the bottle of run and downing another swallow.

She filched the bottle from his hand as she passed by him, “If you’re impatient to lose to a woman, sure.”

He chuckled softly and followed her out of the inn.